Internet Cowards

Also keep in mind that a lot of the meaning behind words can be misunderstood.  People pick up a lot from the context and tone of your voice.  People can tell if you are nervous or are lying, which is probably why people choose the electronic communique.  On the flip-side, people can also be pursueded or inspired by your confidence, or positive tone of your voice.

There have been several incidences where I would rather have hid behind the invisible, protective shield of the Email, but confronting people, no matter how unpleasant, was the right thing to do.  I am not the best at confrontation either, and I usually get flustered and leave feeling frustrated that most of my points were not “heard” or otherwise received.

The other day I had to deliver bad news to someone, and their dead silence was hard to decipher.  Were they disappointed, shocked, angry, or all of these emotions in one big ball?  They were used to communicating through email, and were simply ill-equipped to settle a confrontation.

Instead of talking about it or trying to work something out, they fired off a 3-page manifesto; the purpose of which I still cannot understand.  If the point was to win me to their point of view, then they severely missed the mark.  If the point was to get their feelings off their chest then they probably feel better but lost everything else.  In addition to losing what they wanted, they also lost a friend and colleague.

There are ways to “win friends and influence people”, and one of the best books on the subject was written by Dale Carnegie in the 1930s.  This book should be re-written for today’s age, and the number one rule should be:

Email is never an effective persuasion tool

The aforementioned immature email response is practically the same as a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get what they wanted.  Just because teenagers and adults can use larger words and type them on a keyboard does not mean they have matured beyond a toddler.