Here is the summary of the absolutely awesome keynote by Wil Wheaton. It has been rephrased, but here is the summary. The complete audio file is available for download in the article, as well. Wil Wheaton–probably best known for playing Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: the Next Generation–but now known as a prolific blogger and gamer. I am seated in the front row, thanks to my OCMS celebrity, and the fact that I got there 30 minutes early.
As the crowd starts to fill in, a beachball is tossed around through the crowd.
4:13 PM: Thunderous applause as the lights dim.
There is an opening video. What the hell is going on? There are two voices talking, and one is Wil Wheaton’s. “I was wondering if you could help me write my keynote speech?” “When is the keynote?” “Today?” “Okay.”
4:15 PM: On how to jump-start a keynote speech. “How about the Wii-remote-in-the-pocket gag?” “Oh, I love that. Better not.” “How about the restraining order?”
The curtains open, and fiery-red lights spew beneath the slit, and out emerges Wil Wheaton. He walks up to the microphone and profoundly states the following:
“MY NAME IS WIL WHEATON, AND JACK THOMPSON CAN SUCK MY BALLS.”
4:19 PM: After speaking a short while, he seems to almost start over and begin again: “My name is Wil Wheaton, and I am a gamer. […] I have lived through two home console crashes. […] I have played Nightwatch on Sega CD. I own every Atari 2600 game […] and I keep them on this USB keyring.”
4:21 PM: Wil says:
I’m going to throw out some gaming references, to see what generations of gamers are here:
- It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- Would you like your possessions identified?
- Our princess is in another castle!
- They don’t really want you to play Freebird. They’re just mocking you.
Wil Wheaton tells the story of the first time he saw Asteroids–in a cabinet in a liquor store, as opposed to on his dad’s “Sears machine.”
The kenote address takes everyone down memory land, and is rather elegant, mixed with comedy and “two-percenter” references. Two-percenters are jokes that only 2% of the general audience will get. People still laugh, though.
“As a child actor who was running all over California, going to several auditions a day, videogames were his reward and his collateral. If I had finished my homework, my mom would give me a roll of quarters. I had a mental rollodex of all the good games and where they were.” He lists all the video games he played, where they were in relation to each other, and which stores they were in.
He discusses he fascination of the first arcade games… “It was the perfect combination of D&D and Science Fiction. It was like someone had reached into my dreams and pulled out everything I’d loved.”
“Arcades were a vital part of my generation’s social development”. Then Wil says: “I learned, in arcades, the importance of good sportsmanship. Also: when you play online, just because people can’t see you, Don’t be a dick.” The entire audience roars at this sound piece of advice.
Wil asks–and he hopes someone with a lot of a lot of money hears him–the following question: “Since there was a resurgence of 1950s diners in the ’80s, why can’t we have a resurgence of ’80s arcades now?
Arcade games were so much better than the home consoles, at that time, so Wil started playing a lot more D&D–as well as the Milton Bradley game, “Dark Tower.” Until 1986, that is, when consoles finally caught up.
On the first time he saw an NES at the Sears with his brother Jeremy: “It was sitting at the end of an aisle, waiting for a couple kids to pick up its controllers and take it for a spin. There were 16 different titles to choose from. It was phenomenal. My eyes raced across the scrolling titles… Golf? No. Wrecking Ball? What’s that? It became one of my favorites. … Kung Fu? Booor–wait. Kung Fu? Like in the arcade? Let’s play Kung Fu. …[It was arcade-quality Kung Fu, just like the machine you’d see in an arcade called] Pinball Plus […which was] eventually renamed–I am not making this up–‘Enterprise.'”
Then, when the family was in the car and leaving Sears, his brother are talking about the incredible machine they have just seen, the ‘Intendo’. “‘It’s a Nintendo, Jeremy,’ I said in my best serious mature voice, ‘and it’s probably the most advanced computer system that will ever be made.’ My dad’s eyes found mine in the rearview. ‘Is that a fact?’ he asked.” Now, the sweetest anecdote about him and his brother fighting mom for “another videogame in the house.”
“I will never forget the time we stayed up all night playing Metroid: OH MY GOD DUDE IT’S A CHICK”
On the day Wil Wheaton received his Wii in the mail (as a temptation to speak at the Penny Arcade Expo) : “I named it… WII-TON.” The audience claps and cheers, after they’ve thought about it a moment. He starts explaining the re-emergence of the joy of playing games–like Wii Sports and Guitar Hero–communally and socially with his kids, “just like playing Combat on the Atari 2600.”
And now, on the subject of parenting and social gaming: “…opportunistic, pandering politicians lecturing us on the danger of playing videogames, like it’s some kind of anti-social activity! GAMING IS A SOCIAL ACTIVITY. Whether we’re playing an analog tabletop game like Munchkin in someone’s dormroom, playing a console game in our living room, or meeting up in an MMORPG with our friend Leeroy Jenkins, we are playing an inherently social” wait I was typing too much. What did he just say about the Internet Fuckwad Theory?
The social aspect of gaming is a “load-bearing pillar” in his relationship with his children, Wheaton says.
Wil Wheaton talks about, speaking of politicians, how infuriating it is to be told what one can and cannot play. And what’s more, how belittling it is to be told what one can and cannot play. Also, that the reason Wil Wheaton has been a responsible gamerdad has absolutely nothing to do with those politicians who are trying to look good. Wil explains that he has been so active, and involved, in his kids’ lives.
He’s also talking about his children and being a dad. He’s talking about the time his 17-year old son phoned Wil for permission to go play GTA4. After consulting with his friends at the table, he picks the phone back up. “Ryan. I have to ask you a question. If you pick up a hooker in real life, is it OK to get out of your car and hit her with a baseball bat?”
“Single-player games are narrative works of art, and should be treated as such.” . He explains how he gets emotionally attached to the characters, just as he does in a movie or reading a book.
More on Guitar Hero and how it is the greatest game ever, and on not being so musically-inclined, much as he tried: “I eventually had to admit that I had, what the robot-devil teacher called ‘Stupid Fingers’. Which I eventually made up for with Atari-hand and controller-thumbs.” He explains how the love of Guitar Hero has made his son want to learn to play a real guitar. “And to all those naysayers who say GH is a waste of time, my son Ryan took two guitars to college,” convinced he would learn to play.
Wil says there is nothing more exciting than mixing video games with marital relations, and how it can keep romance alive. “Strip Combat”. “I am 35, and I have been gaming for 27 years.” Also: “I am proud to say I am a gamer.” He goes on to say how given any crowd of people, be they lawyers, fundamentalist Christians, polititians, or gamers, that there is always a few that make the rest look bad.
Wil goes on to celebrate the individuality and that seperate us, and everything that unites us as gamers. “…and this weekend, all that matters is that we are GAMERS, and there are 30,000 of us here,” and if you happen to encounter someone who [thinks you are a maladjusted misfit, Wheaton says, invite them to some Guitar Hero… “and try not to be a dick when you p0wn them.” Thunderous applause.
The keynote address was absolutely amazing. It was genuinely entertaining. Not only was it as good as any stand-up comedy act, but it left everyone with an exhaulted feeling of pride, and I learned a few things about myself in the process. Kudos to Wil Wheaton… he has a deep passion for video games, and appreciates them for what they truly are: modern art.
Below is the entire audio from the keynote address. There is explicit language, so this is your only warning. If you write me an angry letter of how I’m ruining the integrity of my website by publishing this content, or some other reason how you weren’t warned, then I shall point you back to this disclaimer…