Nintendo 64
Yes, I know this system is outdated. However, I also know that many of the greatest games were produced only for this system! You can buy a N64 off of Ebay with a few controllers and many with several games for around forty to fifty bucks. Also, many of these games can be found at your local game store’s “game bin” in various conditions for a few bucks.
Goldeneye
Release Date – 8/25/1997
Ebay $5
This is dedicated to everyone who has ever yelled “Don’t shoot me until I have a weapon!” or “no kneeling when your character is Oddjob! That’s cheating!”. Goldeneye is one of those games that you can pull out infront of your friends even now they will still think you’re cool. Why? Because in 6th grade this was the coolest game you could possibly play at one of your dopey 11 year-old parties! Even after all of this time, the multiplayer still draws a crowd. The immense amount of cheats (that were friggin’ hard to get!) kept this game fun, and the missions are still fun if you’re pursuing that 007 ranking. You can’t beat the fun this game packs for only $5.
Super Smash Brothers
Release Date – 4/27/1999
Ebay $5-10
Again, another one of those great classic party games. I’ve never enjoyed taking out my rage on stupid Pikachu so much! I do think the N64 version was easier to play that the Gamecube edition…. somehow the combos just make more sense. And somehow the extra characters just weren’t worth the trouble. And those challenge levels completely sucked. Oh, and who played that game for the story? Most of this game isn’t worth it, but the multiplayer is for five measly dollars.
Banjo-Kazooie
Release Date – 5/31/1998
Ebay $5
I’ve never been so occupied in my entire life as when I played Banjo-Kazooie. I remember begging my mom to let me rent this game over and over again, and because she kindly gave in, I believe I beat this game over fifteen times. Banjo-Kazooie is short, adventurous, and fun! And the best part (warning.. spoilers!) was that stupid board game at the end. AND they invented the most fun level of all time, you all know what I’m talking about, the one that changes seasons!! Also, I’ll never forget changing into a pumpkin in order to crawl down the witch’s toilet to retrieve a puzzle piece among piles of poo. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Go spend your lunch money on it. You won’t be sorry.
Conker’s Bad Fur Day
Release Date – 3/4/2001
Ebay $10
This game was released towards the end of the N64’s reign, and what a perfect title to end with. Conker’s Bad Fur Day is deliciously mature and raunchy, as well as really frickin’ easy to play. CBFD uses the “context sensitive” button excessively, which basically means that in any situation you are provided the tools you need by pressing “B” when a lightbulb appears over your head. Like I said, easy. Raunchy items include: chomping on caveman testicles, listening to an operatic “almighty poo”, dealing with hangovers, blowing up zombies, feeding helpless townspeople to a vampire, using a sunflower’s huge knockers as a diving board, a great deal of cussing, and a whole lot more. The game also spoofs “The Matrix” and “Saving Private Ryan” pretty extensively. Watch out or you might find yourself humming “I….am…. the great, mighty poo.”….
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Release Date – 11/24/1998
Ebay $7
If you’d rather not shell out the cash for the Gamecube’s updated version, the original will do JUST fine. Something is enticing about running around like a gay Peter Pan on a horse trying to save the princess who is an active transvestite. No matter that sometimes the graphics completely suck… it’s the story that matters!! Zelda: OoT is a looonnggg game. There are countless quests to be completed even though you’ve beaten the game. Damn, I just want that last golden spider for the bigger money pouch!! Also, sidequests are fun! I’ve never checked forums so often as when I was trying to figure out which lure to use to catch the hairy beast in the pond that was only sometimes there… (insert Twilight Zone music….). Even though it is a tad childish, it is a must-have for everyone.
