Alright, that’s the FIRST VGA. Lets run down the awards shall we?
Best Game
What Won: Madden 2004
What Should have Won: Soul Calibur 2, Zelda: The Wind Waker, Prince of Persia. Hell, anything but this!
Producers Reasoning: I don’t think there is any way they can defend themselves here. I thank them for doing this at the beginning. If I had to wait two hours to see Madden win the whole thing, I would have thrown my shoe at the TV so hard that it caused a fire destroying my dormatory, catching me in the blast while the face of Christ shows up amongst the flames declaring everyone to repent. The dead would rise, I would be tortured in the flames, while electricity from the dorm surged through every artery giving me pain for eternity.
Since it happened at the very beginning, I just threw my shoe at the TV
Best Animation:
What Won:DOA Volleyball (yeah, anyone remember this one? I don’t)
What Should have won: Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Producers Reasoning: Despite the fact that just about every publication gave praise to the cel shaded cartoon presentation of ZWW, despite that we were wowed how pretty the game was, despite everything that said LOGIC, these guys saw the previews for ZWW back when everyone thought it was going to tank and figured “Yeah it sucks”.
One look at the girls in Dead or Alive though, and all they could think was “Wow, theiboobs bounce.” I still stand by the fact that male GAMERS are not pigs.
Best Performance by a Human:
What Won: Ray Liotta in GTA: Vice City
What Should Have Won: Ray Liotta in GTA: Vice City
Producers Reasoning: The game that killed video games as I know it also had the best voice acting that year. It’s hard for me to argue with this one. This was the game that if the jocks got caught playing, it was fine, but if one of the nerds got caught playing it, those hypocrites beat the hell outta us cuz playing games wasn’t cool. After Guitar Hero sealed the deal, those same jocks called themselves gamers and said that all of us who played games and risked being laughed at for it, knew nothing about the video game industry and were posers-go figure.
Best Game Based off a Movie:
What Won:Enter the Matrix
What should have Won: Oh man, you’re trying to make me suggest a movie game that could win an award? That’s like trying to suggest whose shit is going to taste best. I’ll go with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. It’s technically based on a movie, well just like Enter the Matrix is.
Producers Reasoning: A good idea, but the problem is ETM is notorius for sloppy programming and bad beta testing. Those of you game testers, this is what happens when you don’t do your job. ETM was considered one of the WORST games ever made for that year, and I still remember when every publication was hyping it. I actually wrote a Wrath on this saying: “This looks like crap,” and I was right. This is why no publication does “Best Movie Games” because it’s like trying to find the best dog turd out of several stinky dog turds buried in petrified horse crap.
Most Addictive:
What Won: Soul Calibur II
What Should have won: Final Fantasy XI
Producers Reasoning: Soul Calibur II was an awesome game, but I’m pretty sure most people who picked up FFXI were struck in for a good 6 months until they realised it wasn’t just an FF game, but it was also a bad game. Still, for those 6 months you could waste away in the MMO world while school grades went ker-plunk. The producers probably were like “FF? You mean like Final Fantasy with swords and sorcery? Who plays that crap? What posers play Final Fantasy Games, people play GTA and uh, GTA.”
Best Action:
What Won:True Crime: Streets of L.A.
What Should Have Won: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Producers Reasoning: They had to show us they were gamers. Saying GTA was going to win everything was a bad-idea. So if people played GTA, they liked the rip-off True Crime…right? Actually TC was a pretty decent game, but it wasn’t as good as Prince, I didn’t play either of them and I know that. They probably didn’t either.
Best Driving AKA Pontiac/GTO Driving Award( gotta love that name plug):
What Won:NASCAR Thunder 2004
What Should Have Won: Didn’t Project Gotham Racing 2 come out that year? Wasn’t that universally praised?
Producers Reasoning: I’m not too sure if PGR 2 was out the time of the awards.I think any game here though is better than Nascar. Why? Because all games with the Nascar license suck.
